John got rejected. It was literally the first
time in john’s entire life that someone had deliberately refused to accept him.
Someone had actually disliked him, disapproved and disqualified. John was
experiencing something completely new. His whole world was coming apart, nice
and easy. In the past nineteen years John had got used to being the best, being
above the standards, being wanted and somehow valuable. Now he was just a name
with a label, John Doe: Rejected. John had lost the thing, his thing,
that single thing which made John who he was; or at least that was how John
felt. Like any other normal human being, the first thing John thought of was to
kill himself. Taking a dozen cold pills and leaving a note rationalizing
everything and saying sorry to a few people he knew. And again like many of
those normal people it did not take John more than three or four liters of chocolate-flavored
ice cream to forget all about the suicide and think of a fresh start; or at
least that was how John thought. The fact, though, was that nothing was like
before. Nothing was even close to fine or a fresh start. Something had
totally changed about John. Something so tiny that he could not even notice; or
at least that was how John would have thought. John Doe was dead.